Wednesday, December 28, 2005


"And He Saw That It Was Lucrative" Posted by Picasa

Quaking the Quaker State

US District Judge John Jones concluded in a 139 page decision that Intelligent Design is not Science. Welcome to the 21st Century ladies and Gentlemen, where the earth is no longer flat and witches do not weigh the same as a duck.

In 2004, people of Pennsylvania wanted to maintain an alternative theory to Charles Darwin’s solid and universally accepted theory that evolution develops through natural selection. They are however not giving up without a fight and have debased themselves by arguing that evolution cannot fully explain the existence of complex life forms. So complex are these life forms that in their view they could only exist by a deity breathing life into a clump of dirt and tearing a rib out of a man’s chest to make a mate. This explanation is by far more plausible than the physical existence of intermediate life forms found in the earth’s crust showing the genetic change of billions of creatures throughout millions of years.

Pennsylvania will soon find the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy stricken from the school curriculum in the very near future as well, but change takes time and the citizens are not yet ready to endure another blow to their belief system.

Well, theres really nothing more to add this Posted by Picasa

Friday, December 23, 2005


Shadowy Men on a Shadowy Planet - Having an average weekend - sigh Posted by Picasa

Spinoza makes you stupid Posted by Picasa

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Call Now, The Prayer Lines Are Open

100 Huntley Street was pleading with it’s viewers today to vote conservative for the upcoming election. The woman was explaining how the liberals made gay marriages possible and decriminalized marijuana. Her co-host began to say how the liberals were going to legalize prostitution and Canada was to become a cesspool of sin resembling Sodom and Gomorra. Run! The END IS NEAR.

This obsession of bible thumper’s Anti-Gay Marriage is beginning to get tedious. Why don’t they try and concentrate on other parts of the bible instead of “the killing gay’s” portion. You’d think they’d try and go after all the shellfish eaters or Sabbath breakers that god finds equally appalling. There’s a lot more of them than gays so they can run their lynch mob 24 and 7.

Since the passing of Bill C-38, Canada has witnessed nothing but gay men fucking on the streets, fucking in subway cars, gay men trying to lure 8 year olds into their communist cars, gay men fucking in hot air balloons, gay men doing, I don’t want to know, on the steps of the church, gay men, gay men, gay men, GAY MEN. It seems to be all we see now is gay men fucking anywhere and everywhere. While at the mall yesterday, my son and I almost stepped on two gay men having sex outside of EB Games. So now, no doubt, my son is going to be gay. And maybe I’m going to be gay as well because I think I didn’t hold my breath when I passed them. Fucking great.

For those naughty Canadians considering on voting for the Grits, 100 Huntley “opened the prayer lines” for them. You have no idea how reassuring it is to know that for $29.95 you can get a cure for what ever ails you at 100 Huntley street. That’s actually a pretty good price for the salvation of your soul. Benny Hinn is much more expensive and Jehovah Witnesses don’t allow you to play chess so, 100 Huntley Street is a solid bang for your buck.

At the end of the day though, you’re out 30 bones and are now about to vote for a Alberta bible clutching redneck who more than anything wants to be Bush’s cabana boy. I don’t think I’m the only Canadian who conjures up visions of Mr. Burns and Smithers when I think of Bush and Harper.

I can’t see it being all bad for the Tories to win though. I’ve always wanted to ride a horse and buggy and the wait at the emergency room will be shaved down to a minimum as blood letting is quicker than modern medicine. Fuck Darwin, fuck Magellan, fuck Newton’s first law, fuck Galileo, fuck Bill Nye, lets all follow Harper back to bronze age.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

"Let’s Have a Patrick Swayze Christmas"

It’s not easy finding a good old fashioned Pagan Christmas CD. People are always trying to ruin the true meaning of Christmas with all this baby jesus nonsense. The magical wonders of a Burberry watch, an Hermes scarf and an extra dry martini shaken by the loving hands of friends and family are often lost in cold clutches of Christian guilt.

I had to resort to compiling my own CD by pirating music on the internet and forced to burn, reproduce and bootleg copies in order to spread good will to my fellow Atheists. In the spirit of the holidays I share with you, my two readers, my list of holiday music.

In keeping with the fact that Christmas is comprised of 95% Pagan tradition, it is more important than ever to hold dear the true meaning of this season:

Freudz Christmas

I Believe in Father Christmas – Emerson, Lake and Palmer
Let’s have a Patrick Swayze Christmas – Crow T Robot, Joel Robinson and Tom Servo
Jack Frost and Hooded Crow – Jethro Tull
Linus and Lucy – Vince Guarldi Trio
What’s This – Danny Elfman (Nightmare Before Christmas)
Fairy Tale New York – The Pogues
Carol of the Bells – Trans Sib Orchestra
Jingle Bells – Brian Seltzer Orchestra
Scrooge - Muppets

All my love for Holidays 'Freud

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Macs Suck.

They suck more than PC's, which suck.

Click here for video:  Naughty Macs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MVwbhsqEyNI

Sunday, December 11, 2005


"Nurse, judging by this guy's hat, he just aint gonna make it" Posted by Picasa

Friday, December 09, 2005

Limbaughs Rush in Where Angels Fear To Tread

No matter what political agenda you follow, you have to forgive the free world (well those with IQ’s above 85) for thinking you’re a moron for listening to Rush Limbaugh.
This guy’s parents should really consider suing the board of education for failing their child.

Listening to Rush, you can understand why the Democrats are so smug and sure of themselves. It seems like every time this idiot opens his mouth he scores one for the other team.

In A Clockwork Orange, Alexander was subjected to violence, rape and Beethoven while having his eyes forced open until the slightest hint of any of those things made him nauseous. Out of respect for the general public who actually went to school, Rush should be made to listen to himself for hours while a medical team routinely swabs his ears with Q Tips. Only then, will Rush know, that listening to his tripe is right up there with Auschwitz.

Behold the man:

Limbaugh 1993: On Bill Clinton: "Never trust a draft dodger."

This is a quote from a man who avoided the draft by complaining about an anal cyst caused by an ingrown hair. If I could make something like this up, I swear I’d be writing for Disney. Just when you think Rush can’t get any sexier, he makes us swoon with his Anal cyst.

Limbaugh : "Anytime the illegitimacy rate in black America is raised , Rev. Jackson and other black 'leaders' immediately change the subject."

Jesse Jackson’s campaign seems to be centered against "children having children” not to mention many other black leaders who constantly preach about it. Given the severe degree of Rush’s retardation it is possible to see how he can confuse constant brow beating against something and total evasion of the subject. Take another fist full of pain killers Rush.

Limbaugh introduced a video clip of Malcolm X's "daughter named Betty Shabazz" when attacking director Spike Lee’s film of the same name. Rush never seems to let something as insignificant as facts get in the way of his campaign as Betty Shabazz is Malcolm X’s widow not his daughter.

Limbaugh: "Now, here is my point. In 1990, George Bush was president and was enjoying a 90 percent plus approval rating on the strength of our victories in the Persian Gulf War and Cold War." This was one of his typical paranoid delusional rants insisting that the Democrats were attempting to sabotage President Bush with the budget deal which was concluded in October 1990. I guess the Q card girl forgot to write that the war started 2 August of that year and the cease fire was called 3 March 1991. Idiot.


Limbaugh 1994: "When a gay person turns his back on you, it is anything but an insult ; it's an invitation."

I don’t think anyone who looks as dumpy as Rush really has anything to worry about in this. Gay guys just don’t go for the Elmer Fudd type.

Limbaugh: "Feminism was established to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream." Rush Limbaugh making fun of unattractive people is like Heinrich Himmler calling Oliver North a naughty soldier.

Limbaugh: "If we are going to start rewarding no skills and stupid people--I'm serious, let the unskilled jobs, let the kinds of jobs that take absolutely no knowledge whatsoever to do--let stupid and unskilled Mexicans do that work."

Republicans should learn the phrase “las cosas de la manera ought ser” because there’s a line up of unskilled stupid Mexicans waiting outside the studio door for his job. Studies have shown that “unskilled stupid” Mexicans can avoid backing up any statement with any form of fact, truth or evidence, get things entirely wrong in front on an entire nation and attempt to pass it off as fact and grow anal cysts as well if not better than Rush can.

Freudz’ The way things ought to be: Limbaugh should have been stopped at the cervix.

Thursday, December 08, 2005


What you'll never see at Men are from Mars Posted by Picasa

Crap

Alright, so I got dragged into a store called Men are from Mars last night. They really should see about changing the name of the store to Men Have No Taste or Men Live in a Trailer Park because that’s pretty much what the merchandise suggested. The mental midget who started the shop got the name from the lamest book ever written by John Gray, the biggest idiot ever to walk in an upright position and pretends to own anything remotely resembling a degree, so you gotta know you’re in for some pretty classy shit.

For those looking for that hard to please male on their Christmas list, Men are from Mars carries the largest assortment of cheesy laminated plaques supporting every sports team known to man. And for those men who have decorated their home in Early Harley Davidson Colonial there’s something for him as well not to mention their extensive Star Trek line. Did someone say beer coasters?

How did everyone get such bad taste all of a sudden? It does't end with men ether, what the fuck is up with all these women wearing running shoes with chandelier earrings? As far as that goes, wearing running shoes for anything other than running is pretty cheesy. No matter where you go though, it’s racks and racks of chandelier earrings. I would personally love to know where all these people are wearing all these chandelier earrings to.

So Bad Taste, we all know someone who has it and as far as I know there is no known cure even though science has made some tremendous brakethroughs it still has miles to go before they can eradicate it for ever. If you or anyone you love show signs of attraction to the following things, chances are they are suffering from advanced stages of poor taste:

Country Music
Salvador Dali
Soccer Moms
Mini Vans
Chicken Soup For the Anything
Fiber Optic Christmas Trees
Nickleback
Chinese Buffet
Fake Tans
Ebonics
Almost anything purchased from an Asian
Heavy Metal
Paneling
Knock off “Anything”
IKEA
Cut out Lawn ornaments
All Dressed Pizza
Mel Gibson
Reality TV
Costco Membership
Processed Cheese
Zinfandel
Dream Catchers
Zodiac

The obvious symptoms are to numerous to list, but this should be a fair indication as to whether you or anyone you know are suffering.