The time is nigh to kill all these old people behind the wheel

At approximately 7:30 last night (Eastern Time or 022330Z for you technical people) I found myself up the ass of a Cadilac DeVille that came out of nowhere while I was driving down a thoroughfare. What I noticed immediately was that this bastard had cut me off two weeks prior coming out of a shopping mall. Now I'm not sure whether this guy is legally blind or is just too fucking old to care if he lives or dies and I really don't give a shit which it is.

I do think that once someone reaches a certain age they should be administered driving tests which will weed out terminally senile people to keep our roads safe and unincumbered for the less dangerous Drunk Driver's of the world. Anyone over the age of dirt should be made to do handstands, walk a tightrope without a safety net or at the very least be made to find his dick with his own two hands.

Now, Im not insensitive to the plight of the old, I understand that a right turn on a red light in a vehicle the size of Oprahs Ass (during hiatus)is a difficult maneuver for some of these senior citizens so for that reason I kept my road rage in check and withheld my urge to follow him home and thump him on the side of the head and leave him at the side of his driveway for dead.

I have, for the above reasons, left explicit intructions for my kid to shoot me in my bed when I am too old to cross a street under 27 minutes and attempt to stick my key in the ignition.