The Great Pit Bull Debate.
This debate over pit bulls has me a little puzzled. I have read the stories: Pit Bull attacks young boy, two pit bulls attack man, three pit bulls leave girl in hospital with 2 gazillion stitches, the list is endless. In truth, I believe pit bulls have some serious issues that whole grinding of the teeth on your flesh thing for instance is unnerving.
I’m not a fan of pit bulls, no matter how nice looking of a dog they are. What I really find repulsive though are their owners which really begs the question: Do you ‘have’ to be crack peddling, grade 8 dropout, welfare recipient to own a pit bull, or can you just look one? I mean, let’s be honest here, every time you see a pit bull on TV that has just chewed the face off a 3 year old kid, at the other end of that leash is the hand of a person who looks like he hasn’t bathed in 6 months and spends his entire welfare cheques on tattoos and face piercing. You just never hear the words “Dr Jones, why did your pit pull mangle that kid?”
Pit bulls have become the official dog of the drug dealer and trailer park dwellers. I can see why though, it’s a little difficult to maintain that bad ass image with a poodle or shitzu and you know the story, it’s all in the image. The sad part of it is, that when these dogs do attack, the poor shmuck can’t really sue the owners because….well, lets just face it, the guy hasn’t got a pot to piss in. The best a guy can hope for is a Jack Daniels mirror and a 1973 CCM ten speed in an out of court settlement.
I’ve heard outrageous comments like, ‘the owner should be shot’. Which is rather harsh to say the least. Sadly, you just can’t go around shooting people anymore. euthanization is by far the most humane and compassionate way to deal with the problem. I’ve done some mad science and calculations and have found that by tripling the dose of Dibucaine with the added agent of Pentobarbital you can put a Pit Bull owner out of his misery and save taxpayers a shitload of money in welfare payments. This should appeal to everyone on many levels. Killing the dog really doesn’t fix the problem, because lets be honest, he’s just going to buy another dog with his next welfare cheque anyway, or just double his crack sales that week. By putting the Pit Bull owner to sleep the Province will gain hectares of land which once were trailer parks that housed these dickwads, crack will be off the streets, a 20% hike in federal cash flow freed up by what once went to social services. Tattoo parlors will take a loss buy hey, it’s an imperfect world.
I’m not a fan of pit bulls, no matter how nice looking of a dog they are. What I really find repulsive though are their owners which really begs the question: Do you ‘have’ to be crack peddling, grade 8 dropout, welfare recipient to own a pit bull, or can you just look one? I mean, let’s be honest here, every time you see a pit bull on TV that has just chewed the face off a 3 year old kid, at the other end of that leash is the hand of a person who looks like he hasn’t bathed in 6 months and spends his entire welfare cheques on tattoos and face piercing. You just never hear the words “Dr Jones, why did your pit pull mangle that kid?”
Pit bulls have become the official dog of the drug dealer and trailer park dwellers. I can see why though, it’s a little difficult to maintain that bad ass image with a poodle or shitzu and you know the story, it’s all in the image. The sad part of it is, that when these dogs do attack, the poor shmuck can’t really sue the owners because….well, lets just face it, the guy hasn’t got a pot to piss in. The best a guy can hope for is a Jack Daniels mirror and a 1973 CCM ten speed in an out of court settlement.
I’ve heard outrageous comments like, ‘the owner should be shot’. Which is rather harsh to say the least. Sadly, you just can’t go around shooting people anymore. euthanization is by far the most humane and compassionate way to deal with the problem. I’ve done some mad science and calculations and have found that by tripling the dose of Dibucaine with the added agent of Pentobarbital you can put a Pit Bull owner out of his misery and save taxpayers a shitload of money in welfare payments. This should appeal to everyone on many levels. Killing the dog really doesn’t fix the problem, because lets be honest, he’s just going to buy another dog with his next welfare cheque anyway, or just double his crack sales that week. By putting the Pit Bull owner to sleep the Province will gain hectares of land which once were trailer parks that housed these dickwads, crack will be off the streets, a 20% hike in federal cash flow freed up by what once went to social services. Tattoo parlors will take a loss buy hey, it’s an imperfect world.
posted by freudz wet dream at 5:39 PM
5 Comments:
My dearest deadpool: It must be so nice living in your head with Peter Pan and Mr Bunny. First off, you may concider the reason for this most profound coincidence of the Pit Bull is perhaps,,, I don't know,,, it's all over the fucking news right now. As for my imitation of you, I'm willing to donate ten dollars to your personal monument to yourself, just let me know where I can send my cheque. Love and kisses alays, Freud.
Welcome to the grand delusion.
If you get a 20% cash flow increase, will you get your taxes cut by 20%.
Americans love tax cuts!
I need even more than I've got already!
Speaking as a Canadian quest-ce-que cest this Tax cut you speak of. We've never heard of it.
Oh.
My deepest apologies!
They are really only a sick fantasy of rabid right-wingers.
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