All Ye Faithful
I saw the Exorcism of Emily Rose the other night. Not a bad movie but right up there with Gremlins and Killer Klowns from Outer Space as far as credibility goes. Out of curiosity I Googled Exorcism on the internet and got two million hits including a web page from this American priest, Father Cliff Graham. Cliff has a step by step process to start the exorcism ritual on your own.
According to Cliff evil spirits can enter people who dabble in occult practices.
He says:
“ an evil spirit may enter us because of involvement in evil practices such as the occult, The occult is any practice that involves ceremonies, rituals, chants, magic”
I hate to be captain of the painfully obvious but wouldn’t the Catholic Church be the foremost culprit in evil practices of the occult that involves ceremonies rituals and chants? I chalked up that entire sentence as the worst case of Stockholm Syndrome in history. Cliffy goes on to state that people who practice sex out of wedlock, masturbate or smoke marijuana also run a high risk of being possessed by demons.
Being an Atheist, I am never bothered by demons or Satan which leads me to believe that I have chosen wisely. Fundies, on the other hand, are always laboring under the delusion that demons walk among us. I know a couple of Baptists who have stated that they have actually seen satan on more than one occasion. I then did a little probing and found out that most fundies have at one time or another seen or have felt Satan’s presence. Uh Huh. I don’t know whether it’s the fact they say they have seen Satan that bother’s me as much as the fact that they are permitted to vote and drive cars that makes my skin crawl.
As an Atheist, I’m often puzzled as to why I’ve never seen the devil, or statan or what ever he goes by these days. You’d think if the bastard was to round up anyone it would be people like me. While I’m on the subject, No god’s have ever paid me a visit either so I should be fair game to either of them. While I’m at it, put me down as never seeing the Easter Bunny, Martians or the Tooth Fair either.
To be quite honest I have no time for a God who is as insecure and petty as the god depicted in the holy bible. He’s a pretty lame deity as far as gods go. He really ought to take lessons in self confidence from Zeus who didn’t keep going on and on and on about not being allowed to worship any other god’s but him. This god is like an insecure boyfriend who keeps asking “do you still love me”. And when the answer is no he gets all fire and brimstone on everyone. Gods don’t do shit like that.
Fundies love telling me about the speed in which I will arrive in hell. They take some strange perverse pleasure in knowing that I’m going to burn in eternal hell while they are going to be playing bocce ball and eating ice cream in heaven with Jesus. Heaven is the big pay off for them because they don’t drink beer or masturbate to Internet porn. It almost makes me jealous in the same way I envy a child who plays all his cards right the month before Christmas because Santa Clause is watching. It’s kinda cute but I wouldn’t want to be aligned with them on a social level.
It apparently all has something to do with the fact that God gave us his only son Jesus to die on the cross for us to save us from the clutches of ‘evil’. It’s always puzzled me why God chose that method as the only way to save mankind. A cool god would have chosen a Poker game or Tug of War. But I guess it would be hard to romanticize about some Jewish guy in a sarong beating the Pharisees at five card stud.
It also seems that in the sport of Fundamentalism the creepier the better. Evangelists , Baptists and Sharia Islam are the big hitters of creepy with Catholicism stealing second base. I continue to go through life as a born again Frisbiterian, where we believe that when we die our souls go up on the roof and never come back down.
According to Cliff evil spirits can enter people who dabble in occult practices.
He says:
“ an evil spirit may enter us because of involvement in evil practices such as the occult, The occult is any practice that involves ceremonies, rituals, chants, magic”
I hate to be captain of the painfully obvious but wouldn’t the Catholic Church be the foremost culprit in evil practices of the occult that involves ceremonies rituals and chants? I chalked up that entire sentence as the worst case of Stockholm Syndrome in history. Cliffy goes on to state that people who practice sex out of wedlock, masturbate or smoke marijuana also run a high risk of being possessed by demons.
Being an Atheist, I am never bothered by demons or Satan which leads me to believe that I have chosen wisely. Fundies, on the other hand, are always laboring under the delusion that demons walk among us. I know a couple of Baptists who have stated that they have actually seen satan on more than one occasion. I then did a little probing and found out that most fundies have at one time or another seen or have felt Satan’s presence. Uh Huh. I don’t know whether it’s the fact they say they have seen Satan that bother’s me as much as the fact that they are permitted to vote and drive cars that makes my skin crawl.
As an Atheist, I’m often puzzled as to why I’ve never seen the devil, or statan or what ever he goes by these days. You’d think if the bastard was to round up anyone it would be people like me. While I’m on the subject, No god’s have ever paid me a visit either so I should be fair game to either of them. While I’m at it, put me down as never seeing the Easter Bunny, Martians or the Tooth Fair either.
To be quite honest I have no time for a God who is as insecure and petty as the god depicted in the holy bible. He’s a pretty lame deity as far as gods go. He really ought to take lessons in self confidence from Zeus who didn’t keep going on and on and on about not being allowed to worship any other god’s but him. This god is like an insecure boyfriend who keeps asking “do you still love me”. And when the answer is no he gets all fire and brimstone on everyone. Gods don’t do shit like that.
Fundies love telling me about the speed in which I will arrive in hell. They take some strange perverse pleasure in knowing that I’m going to burn in eternal hell while they are going to be playing bocce ball and eating ice cream in heaven with Jesus. Heaven is the big pay off for them because they don’t drink beer or masturbate to Internet porn. It almost makes me jealous in the same way I envy a child who plays all his cards right the month before Christmas because Santa Clause is watching. It’s kinda cute but I wouldn’t want to be aligned with them on a social level.
It apparently all has something to do with the fact that God gave us his only son Jesus to die on the cross for us to save us from the clutches of ‘evil’. It’s always puzzled me why God chose that method as the only way to save mankind. A cool god would have chosen a Poker game or Tug of War. But I guess it would be hard to romanticize about some Jewish guy in a sarong beating the Pharisees at five card stud.
It also seems that in the sport of Fundamentalism the creepier the better. Evangelists , Baptists and Sharia Islam are the big hitters of creepy with Catholicism stealing second base. I continue to go through life as a born again Frisbiterian, where we believe that when we die our souls go up on the roof and never come back down.
posted by freudz wet dream at 10:51 AM
2 Comments:
aaaah, the lovely freudz is back in the saddle. You've been sorely missed!!
Wow, for an Atheist, you sure (think) you know all about God. It never ceases to amaze me how Atheists and Agnostics spend SO much time bitching about religion/God. What a waste of your time. Why bother?
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