Leviticus 18:22

When the horrible news was released that spongebob was gay, I felt my legs go numb. I will remember that moment of shear grief for years to come. I wish to extend my complete indebtedness to the right wing Christian Community for making this most profound and enlightening observation.

Studies have shown that it is almost impossible to detect homosexual behavior in invertebrates, allowing deviants such as spongebog to slip by undetected and leaving our children completely at risk. Under the watchful eye of fundamentalists, cock smoking sponges cam no longer hide and spread their repulsive lifestyles. There may quite possibly be entire homosexual communities in the coral reef but officials are still remaining hopeful that this estimation is largely exaggerated.

Our only hope now is that he was outed before any permanent damage could take place and that our children are safe once more.